This is a summary of the book titled “The Anger Habit” written by Carl Semmelroth and Donald E.P. Smith and published by Sourcebooks in 2000. This book aims to address the problem of habitual, uncontrollable anger. The authors argue that anger is a bad habit that can be triggered by other habits. People with an anger habit unconsciously create a mental environment that predisposes them to this emotion, interpreting others' actions and motivations to gain control. They suggest that the alternative to acting from emotional habit is acting from reason. To break the anger habit, people should learn to make conscious decisions about their reactions and respect others' right to self-determination.

Anger is destructive and can lead to loss of control and lack of reason. It can cause serious professional and personal problems, such as collisions between drivers and spouses, stifling communication, and even destroying marriages. The best solution is to replace rage with reason, as emotions can provide important signals about the angry state of mind and become sources of personal insight and information.

Anger is a powerful emotion that can be used to force others or ourselves to comply with expectations. However, expressing anger is not the best way to change situations that don't align with the plan. Instead, angry people can learn to examine their feelings of rage, gather more information, and question their expectations. They are managers of their behavior before influencing others. Anger is embedded in other habits, such as thoughts, speech, and behavior, and is situational. Unlike smoking, anger is not a sudden outburst but rather a result of thoughts, words, and actions. To reduce anxiety, it is essential to deprive the flame of its fuel, not just to stifle the heat of anger. Angry feelings contain important information, which can tell infuriated people that they have acted upon certain expectations, made observations, and arrived at certain conclusions. To stop angry outbursts, angry people must learn to question their interpretations and deprive the flame of its fuel.

Communication is often difficult when people struggle to control others, as information exchange is constantly sorted for clues of attacks. Anger can be a result of projecting discontent or unrealistic expectations onto others, leading to feelings of alienation and a fear-panic cycle. Anger often reflects frustration when trying to control others' thoughts and feelings of themselves. To overcome anger, people must examine their feelings during outbursts, which are usually unproductive and counterproductive. Self-respect is essential, not self-importance, as it is based on honest self-evaluation. The fear-panic cycle begins with chronic anger grounded in a struggle for control, producing feelings of alienation. To break this cycle, angry people must learn to turn away from seeing themselves as victims and begin to see themselves as breaking free of the burden of rage. Poor communication is also a consequence of anger, as it makes honesty impossible and creates relationships that are the opposite of honest and trusting. Anger is not just a failure to communicate but often involves force, which can reinforce fear and anger.

Angry people often seek support and encouragement from others, which can lead to misguided communication and support, which can lead to divorce or a chronic struggle for control. Anger is a habit that depends on a context, usually a power struggle, and can be reduced by facing facts and taking responsibility for one's behavior. To learn from anger, people should replace self-importance, self-contempt, and guilt with self-esteem, remorse, contest for power over others, and criticism with an open mind.

To break the anger habit, people must acknowledge the legitimate rights of others without abandoning their own values and learn to remind others of their expectations through their actions. Parents should use rules to build credibility and confidence, teaching their children to control their own behavior. When becoming parents, angry people must be aware of their own feelings and deal with their own feelings before making decisions about their children. Children's anger is similar to adults' anger, and parents must teach their children to deal with disappointment without erupting in anger.

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